Reality

Random Fact: I feel like I should get dressed up when I go to the doctor or dentist office. I don’t know why. But I usually take a little effort to be presentable when going to an appointment.

Last week I wrote about perspective. And how the way we look at things is determined by where we have been, what we have experienced the people we have met. And then I wrote about my free time and how much I cherish that. The quiet of my house is a solace to me. Maybe you are thinking, “Wow, she has a pretty cushy life. All together. That’s wonderful for her. I think I will stop reading her blog posts because they are completely irrelevant to my messy and loud life. Bleh!”

Today’s post, I am gonna share a little bit of what happens when our house wakes up. It’s not quiet or peaceful. There are no small animals scurrying about to help with the morning chores. Unless you count the twin flies of doom that entertain the children while I make breakfast. It’s an endless chant of, “please stop talking and eat your breakfast.” This mantra begins in a quiet and pleasant voice when I first set the breakfast feasts down. The closer we get to 8:53AM, the louder and more ferocious my voice gets. I feel like the children become slower as we get closer to the time we leave for school, but maybe I am just paranoid. By 8:55 I sound like a marine drill sargent and the ride to school is like riding in a police car chase.

Yesterday, I had a lovely morning with my good friend. We went to Target and Chik-fil-A in the same morning. I came home, and my sweet daughter had a nice nap. She woke up, we got her brothers.

And BOOM! Chaos descended upon our house. Our older son and I seem to be in a battle. He had been sitting for six and a half hours. Our rule is to do homework right away. But yesterday the boy just couldn’t stay focused another minute. I wish I could say I was calm and collected, but there was something about yesterday afternoon that left the anger fuse super short. I got mad, not just mad I got furious. Our son immediately started doing his homework, not because I had gently redirected him, but because I had scared him into obedience.

And it wasn’t just him. Oh no, I had plenty of rage bombs to drop on everyone in the house.  There was a fussy baby  dinner to be made. The younger son rushed through his homework then left everything in the middle of the floor to be tripped over. Not intentionally, of course but our younger son wanted to go play. I loudly reminded him of what he should do to. Then we had a car trip with ten minutes of piercing screams from our baby girl. The trip we took lasted for twelve minutes. My husband was so excited to see us, but all I could do was rant and rave about the trials of the last hour. Not really the ideal way to greet my husband. In response to, ‘I am so glad to see you,’ I mentally and emotionally responded with a prickly hedge of my life stinks and I am ungrateful for everything in it.

I know better. I should have had a snack for all of us. Eased up on my agenda. Because really, waiting fifteen to thirty minutes after we get home to do homework would have been fine. There was absolutely nothing that we had to do last night that would have gotten in the way of doing homework. We had time to take it easy. I was so focused on my agenda for the afternoon, I allowed that to take priority over my son. And it wasn’t the first time. I hope it’s the last. But probably not either.

It was wrong, my behavior yesterday was completely and utterly wrong.  After I got over myself and my agenda, my right to authority over my household, I apologized to them for my behavior. We hugged it out and I was once again thankful for the huge capacity my kids and husband have for forgiveness.

I know the promises of God. That His mercies are new each morning. That joy amidst crazy circumstances is a choice. And this morning, I cling to those. Today, will be a different day. Today I will extend mercy and love to my family.

Blessings

-K

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3 thoughts on “Reality

  1. sarwah2012 says:

    I feel this way, I am going out to certain places, especially the children´s school so I must dress up. At first it felt like a chore, but now I realise it makes me feel better to dress up and look presentable in myself, I think this is the problem. If we feel we must dress up, it is for others, when in fact we are making ourselves feel better too.

  2. sarwah2012 says:

    Reblogged this on THE HIGHS, the lows, The Inbetweens and commented:
    Dressing up – for us or for them?

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