Random Fact: I like pistachio flavored pudding, ice cream, cake really pistachio anything. But I find the act of eating raw pistachios to much work.
There has always been a part of me that has craved the spot light. I grew up singing in church. I had my first solo at the age of six and I distinctly remember asking the choir director why I had to share the spotlight with my sister. It wasn’t pretty then, and I wish that was the last time I allowed my fame monster to rear it’s ugly head. Over the next twelve years I was involved in drama, choir, worship team, dance recitals, school plays, church plays and traveling drama teams. It was a lot of fun. Most of those pursuits were under the tutelage of really talented Christians who taught me that the gifts I was using were for the glory of God and not my own fame. But there has always been a small (ok sometimes it’s not such a small) battle within me between wanting to give glory to God and wanting people to notice me.Last Tuesday I posted my fifteenth post. It was an exciting event. I celebrated with a happy little clap in front of the computer before I went upstairs and got ready for the day. Then, someone liked my post. Then someone tweeted me and asked if they could use part of my post in their blog. It was all so exciting! I could barely focus on the tasks of the morning their were so many likes to this blog post I put up. The attention I was receiving was really flattering.
Now, all this acclaim I was receiving started going to my head. I actually started to comment on tweets that some celebrities I follow had put up. Hoping they would comment back. Because I am me. I had something to say and of course they wanted to hear it, right? Then I landed on a tweet from Mary Demuth. I have never met Ms. Demuth. But she came to speak at our church’s women’s retreat and several of my friends suggested I follow her on twitter. Within minutes of the request I received from someone that wanted to use part of my blog post I saw the post from Mary Demuth. She put up a blog post entitled “No matter what people say about you, follow Jesus. (You can read it here: http://www.marydemuth.com/2012/09/no-matter-what-people-say-about-you-follow-jesus-anyway/). Ms. Demuth laid out the reasons we should follow Jesus even when they talk about you in a bad way. Which people will, Jesus promised us that. Then, Ms. Demuth went on to talk about the need to follow Jesus even when people begin to praise your efforts. That it’s so easy to get wrapped up in MY need for fame, or look at all the work I have done for Jesus. The part that really convicted me was this quote from Donald Davidson that was included in the article:
“Our culture places an absolute premium on various kinds of stardom. This degrades and impoverishes ordinary life, ordinary work, ordinary experience.”
That was what had happened the morning I started getting all these notices. I was so busy checking my phone every time I received an email ding, I was missing out on the ordinary. The right now. This blogging was becoming about me, not Jesus. The whole reason I began blogging was because God has laid it on my heart to encourage others. Whether that’s thru a little humor or by being honest about the struggles God is carrying me thru.
There was another quote from Ms. Demuth’s article that also stood out to me. It was from Michael Card. Who is a song writer, and singer. He says
“Never cease praying that you will not become a star or celebrity.”
This will be my prayer. That I will not let my ego, or need to be an expert or desire for attention/notice to get in the way of what God is doing. That I will not be lost in the desire for fame that I lose sight of those around me, right here.
Do you have a need to be noticed?