Random tidbit: I’ve been eating gluten-free for about a month now. And it really helps with how I feel. What we eat affects us.
It’s hard right now. It’s hard to do a lot of things. It’s hard to admit things are hard. Because more than anything, I don’t like to admit defeat. I never saw myself as a go-getter, as a scraper. But I’m finding I am. But that I fight about what doesn’t matter. And I try to keep things close that should be let go.
So here is my confession of what’s hard.
It’s hard to get up and exercise. Because I would rather eat brownies for breakfast and sleep in.
It’s hard to be gracious with strangers because I have so much of my own hurt and pain, I can’t see theirs.
It’s hard to parent fairly because I have little to no resources for my sweet little cherubs because most of my emotional energy is being spent working on my issues.
It’s hard to be kind to my husband, because I can’t even be kind to myself.
It’s hard to go to church because I always seem to be the one crying in the pew during the worship songs.
It’s hard to sing worship songs because I have doubt about my faith.
It’s hard to admit I have doubt about my faith in God.
It’s hard to say I have depression.
It’s hard to think I might need to be on medication for my depression.
It’s hard to keep explaining why things are hard.