No Perfect Moment

I committed to blogging again. I committed to you. I committed to share my story. And I got two whole posts up. And then life has kicked in and I keep waiting for that perfect combination of kids in bed or occupied, husband doing his thing, all the house work is done and there is nothing else to deal with. But you know what? That moment never comes.

This idea that if I just had the right set up. Or maybe if I just wait until the best opportunity comes along for me. If I could just get this one last thing handled. If all those things come together then I will have time to do whatever I feel most passionate about.

It’s all lies.

There will never be a perfect moment without a hundred other little squeezed in moments to develop your craft. There is never going to be the one perfect opportunity with out a hundred other half attempts or even failures. I’m never going to have that one last thing handled cause there are always about a thousand more things jumping to take the place of the one last thing.

I have stuff and you have stuff. It’s about setting aside time and maybe sacrificing so the time is there. For me that means cutting back on how much television I watch. Or how much time I take to play games on my iPad. It might mean saying no to some things and yes to others. Maybe it means I get up a half an hour later so I have time to set up for the day instead of hitting the ground at warp speed leaving me to exhausted to work on my craft at the end of the day. It’s about being at the place that I can’t put off this need to write any longer. It means that the fire lit in me is going to consume me if I don’t speak out. I’ve found my passion, my calling. Now it’s time to get to work on it.

Is it time to start yours?



A series about Mothering, Part 1

Random tidbit: It’s amazing how many runners are out now that the weather has gotten a little nicer.

Six days ago I wrote this. It was a low point. I posted the link on Facebook. I was hesitant to do that because it’s not in my natural realm of instinct to share those types of feelings. But I did and God reminded me again how sweet His body can be. The Lord also gave me some really slow and gentle days with my little brood, and that lifted up my heart with encouragement to keep working thru this for them. I hope that encourages you. To share with one another. To reach out when it seems easier to keep things tucked inside. Thank-you for your encouragement and love thru this process of healing.

About Mothers

Four days ago was Mother’s Day. That one day out of the year the government, or maybe Hallmark (R) decided that we mothers, who have spent our time loving and nurturing the little and not so little children in our homes, should get a day off. In response to this glorious day, someone asked a question similar to this on Facebook:

What have you learned about mothering since you had your first child?

This is a list of a few of the things I have learned since I had my first child.

1. I should shut the garage door before I get my walking baby out of the car. Otherwise the child will dart off down the driveway with the speed and stealth of a ninja.

2. Despite my adamant stance against my children watching television, I have become so grateful for the distraction of television and video games that I would personally  pay the salary of Nintendo’s CEO. Not really, I could never afford that because I have three kids.

3. My life is rarely quiet. But I’m going a little bit deaf in each of my ears so the noise doesn’t seem as loud.

4. All those sweet and more experienced ladies in church, at the grocery store and Target were right, the years do go by fast. But there are some days that just go on for-ev-er.

5. Eventually, the hurts can’t be fixed with just a band-aid and a kiss on the knee. But I can always be there to listen and give a hug when needed.

6. I am amazingly good at calculating my faults as a parent, but not that great at recounting the victories.

7. My ‘backbone’ has gotten a little weaker with each child. I let a lot more things slide. Like my kids don’t always wear shoes outside anymore and sometimes the baby walks around with a small object in her hand. That ends up in her mouth. And then is spit back out into my hand.

8. Kids need freedom. There are sometimes I have to let go. Do you hear that whump whump whump? That’s the sound of my propeller slowing down and not hovering so closely.

9. When the kids find a dead animal on the playground, that’s when it’s time for our family to leave.

10. Let other people invest in your kids. It’s a gift for your kids to learn and hear about other perspectives. The more we learn about each other, the more we see we are the same. It’s a gift to you to realize that you don’t have to be everything for your child. Raising children is a community experience.

There’s a top ten list for you. You can print it out and put it on your fridge if you want.



A slow build

Random tidbit: If you have children with a tendency to lose their shoes, have them leave their shoes in the car. It makes searching for the shoes easier. Cause you have a smaller area to look in.

If you didn’t realize, this month is NaNoWriMo. That stands for National Novel Writing Month. For the month of November, thousands of people will be attempting to write 50 thousand words in one month. I started this process for this year. It’s slow going. i went away for the weekend. I have been worn out because I am sick. And each day I don’t meet my word count, the task seems harder and harder. As in, it would be worth it to just quit.

Then I see a tweet from Jon Acuff. It was all about our dreams and how we would prefer them to be easily attained. Like salt, something that’s in every home and available at most stores. It’s cheap to buy and accessible to everyone. But most dreams aren’t like that, they are like saffron, an exotic and expensive seasoning. It takes a lot of work for saffron to be harvested and then it’s expensive to use. Here is the full post.

That got me to thinking. Yes, I am behind on my goal for NaNoWriMo, but that doesn’t mean I should give up. It just means I might have to choose to write instead of watch an episode or two of television this week. Because that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

What about you? Do you have a dream, goal project that you are behind on? Don’t give up! I don’t think I will ever regret choosing to go for NaNoWriMo rather than watching an episode of television. I don’t think you would either.